It’s in the Bag

Do you have deodorant with you? :-P

I really did receive that exact text message one evening from my friend on the way to a dance social.  The funny thing is, I actually checked my purse because I thought I just might have some in there.

No,sorry...Listerine and Chanel No.5 ;-), I texted back.

You have to understand this is new for me.  I was never the girly-girl who carries everything she needs to put herself together in a bag, but I do pack a mean picnic basket.  Granted, I like nice things and I put myself together well in the morning, but I used to melt and fade throughout the day until it was time to leave the office and head to the barn. My bag was where I kept credit cards, a passport, business cards, keys.  Not even cash.  I was lucky to have lipgloss with me. These days, or half of these days, I now head to a dance class or a social to practice dancing instead of heading to the barn.  That has forced me to rethink the contents of my bag. I do, after all, want people to actually dance with me.  It didn’t take me too long to figure it out…I carry a bigger bag now.  There are also two pairs of dance shoes in each car, a roll of gaffer’s tape and a pair of scissors, just in case the floor is bad or someone forgets their dance shoes. It reminds me of the bag my son carried his soccer kit in when he played; it’s my dance kit. My daughter saw my cute little Listerine sprayer and what she thinks is an even cuter Chanel bottle, so she carries those in her bag now, too.  It has become how we both roll; she learned it from me!

The picture of my bag popped into my head when Pam and Connie at HEALS told me about one of the things HEALS does for families that participate in their program.  She explained that many of these families don’t keep Tylenol or Advil in a house first aid kit for fever, and many wouldn’t know how to administer it correctly if they did. When your budget is so very tight, one doesn’t buy things that aren’t for immediate use, so that’s why many kids end up at the emergency room when all they need is something to lower a fever.  One thing HEALS does is to help get families to a place where they have these basic health items at home and teaches them how to use it.  This one little thing can have a big trickle down affect.

It was hard for me to imagine not having something as simple as Tylenol at home for “just in case”, but after we talked about how that happens, I started to see how HEALS, by making something very simple accessible, can change the outlook for a generation of kids.  They’ll grow up with a basic change in their home, and they will bring that knowledge with them to their own homes as adults.

If you haven’t yet made a donation to HEALS, I ask you to consider doing that today.  Whether you support me or one of the other dance competitors, all the donations to HEALS helps make big changes in these kids’ lives.

And Bob, there IS a razor in that kit…

Question: What’s in your kit? Share your answer on permalink]” target=”_blank”>Facebook, or Twitter

I’m Listening, Teach Me

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

When I was much younger, I took many (oh so many) French lessons, and though I learned a lot in class, the real learning was having to make my way as an exchange student through the streets of Quebec, France, and then Belgium; to survive I had to interact with so many people, a few minutes at a time, on a daily basis. I didn’t just learn to speak French; I learned to live in French.  Likewise, there are dance classes, and you do learn the techniques of how to dance there, but a lot of learning happens later outside of class on a social dance floor. Each song is a three minute class with a new instructor. The subject may be dance, but it might also be culture, music, or anything else two human beings might have reason to share as they move in time and space together.

One of my three minute instructors teaches me to practice what I’ve learned in my classes, not to throw it all away when the social music starts. Those techniques allow him to more easily take me through multiple turns and make every movement a lot smoother and whole lot easier for me to execute. Dancing isn’t the only thing I do this with, I can use this lesson elsewhere. Thanks for your patience and attentiveness with me, John.  Next Song

From my next three minute class I learn just how quiet and gentle a lead can be and yet still be crystal clear over the din, the commotion, and the movement around us on the dance floor. Each time we dance, I have learned a little more and he adeptly and smoothly leads me through progressively more involved movements. Through dancing with him each week, I experience the proof of my progress and it makes me grin. I always love dancing with you, Jonathan. Thank you. Next Song

I learn to look directly at my partner and really see him, to smile at him because he is always smiling at me. Because he makes me look, I see his hand ready for the next move. This also helps me remember I need to spot more often with all of my partners. Thank you, Marquiz, you make this so much fun. Next Song

I sit down to catch my breath and I watch the photographer. I need to remember to look up, to smile, and to buy more stock in Gillette. Thanks, Bob. Next Song

Syncopation? Move what how and when? Oh, I get it, now. Thanks, RT. Next Song

I had no clue that I loved Bachata until he told me I had to listen to the words. Ah, yes, there are words to these songs. The words combined with the music will almost dictate the movement if both partners are truly listening. Now it’s my favorite and I listen to all of the words, spoken and unspoken. Thank you, Karlos.  Another song…

And there is more. There are all the places from where the people come, why they are here, where they are going, what they like to do, what they dream of doing, and why they dance. It never stops… three minutes at a time. I have begun to think of my days in three minute intervals of interactions with so many people; by paying attention, by listening, I understand that everyone, without exception, has something to teach me.

It is an immense universe and I am attentively learning about it in an endless curriculum, three minutes at a time… dancing the bachata of life.  Next Song

Question: What have you learned lately and did the lesson come from an unexpected source? Share your answer on Facebook, or Twitter

UnCinderella

If the shoe fits, dance in it

So many things in our lives have little rituals associated with them. These rituals give us a bit of time from our busyness to think. Our dances have rituals that I just realized recently. When the dancers arrive, these are the ones who are pursuing the dance, they come with their bags, the bags with the dance shoes.

There are street shoes and there are dance shoes, and when you arrive to dance, you sit on the bench or chair on the edge of the dance floor, open the strings that hold the magic in and you change your shoes. It’s not just the ladies, the men bring their dance shoes too. These are the suede-soled shoes that free us from the friction that would hold us back, that let us turn and spin to see the world around us full circle, that help us glide into the position that suits us. I’ve started thinking of this little ritual as my UnCinderella moment; I put on the shoe that I know fits me perfectly.

Cinderella is an Italian folktale from 17th century Napoli, a tale of unjust oppression. The name Cinderella has come to symbolize one whose attributes were unrecognized, or who unexpectedly achieves recognition or success after a period of obscurity and neglect. The Aarne-Thompson tale type index classifies Cinderella as “the persecuted heroine”. Those shoes don’t fit me and I wouldn’t want them to fit anyone. I much prefer my UnCinderella. She doesn’t wait for a prince to save her, she doesn’t rely on others to help her recognize who she can be. In our story she puts on her dance shoes herself and becomes exactly who she wants to be, which is exactly who she is. I think UnCinderella is a great tale to tell to all of our little girls.

Question: Do you have a ritual that makes you think? Share your answer on Facebook, or Twitter

A New Pair

The Power of Two

There’s a new pair in town.
Wednesday night I met my competition dance partner, Chris Dawson, for our first practice. I had met Chris and danced with him once before at a Salsa social, but putting together a performance will be quite different from social dancing. Over the next few months, Chris will be teaching me the moves and putting them together into a choreographed performance. So if you are visiting Madison Ballroom, you might just notice this new pair on the dance floor! Speaking of new pairs, this is an excellent segue to introduce the Heels for HEALS program.

Becoming a Better Leader by Learning to Follow

I almost always find myself taking on the leadership position. Whether work or play, when a group or groups get together, I generally take on leadership responsibilities; it comes naturally to me. Since it has never been something I was aiming to do, I never really thought carefully about the skills it really required or sought to develop additional skills I thought were needed. Now I’m learning to dance; someone is the leader and someone is the follower, and traditionally the woman is supposed to be the follower. The tables are turned and now I’m experiencing at both the micro and macro level the difference a great leader can make.

Shall We Dance? 4 Reasons Why We Should

‘On with the dance; let joy be unconfined’ is my motto, whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfine. —Mark Twain, Colonel Mulberry Sellers

There are so many people who insist that they don’t dance or can’t dance but it is never difficult to fill a wedding reception dance floor. I have read several articles recently citing studies showing numerous health benefits of dancing, both physical and mental. I have recently begun taking dance lessons (salsa!) and am really enjoying the instruction, the dance, the health benefits, and the opportunity to literally connect with people. If you are one of the few people who actually need a reason to dance, I’ve written about my top four.

Why I Look for Trouble: 5 Steps to Transform Your Vision into Action

I’ve always enjoyed brainstorming. In school, it was hanging out in the honors lounge throwing out crazy ideas and having everyone build on top of that until we had something huge. I enjoyed the creativity and the energy that came from thinking outside of the box. Sometimes it felt as if we were using science to take the fiction out of science fiction, but mostly we were exploring the dreams and aspirations that were dancing in our brains freshly loaded with education. As I entered the corporate world, brainstorming was different and at first seemed pointless. I’d throw an idea up on the white board then a bunch of people would explain to me why it wouldn’t work. I thought everyone just had a bad attitude, I thought they had lost their sense of dreaming.

But I learned how to turn that energy around and use it, and it really turned me around as well. I learned to write up on the board each of the reasons they threw at me for things not working, all of the obstacles. Then when we had a good list of 6 or 8, I would go one by one and ask everyone how we could get around the obstacle, remove the obstacle, or just avoid it all together. It was amazing what would happen once a tangible obstacle was put in front of this group of engineers. Their creativity and innovation cells started generating new ideas, and before long we not only had a big idea, we had an excellent plan of how to get it implemented.

Four Reasons for My Vegetable Garden

When I was six, my father decided we would grow a vegetable garden in our back yard.  I was thrilled, but this was no small back yard endeavor.  We lived on twenty acres and our new “back yard” project was at least an acre.  It had never been planted before so my memory is of back breaking work to till the soil then build up the rows, then planting seedlings we had sprouted in our garage.  We planted all sorts of vegetables that I didn’t like to eat, I knew that because they were exactly the same ones we bought at the grocery store. I remember thinking it was an awful lot of work for something we could just buy at the store to not eat. It did not escape me that this seemed like a lot of effort and expense for something that wasn’t very expensive or attractive to begin with.  But that was my opinion.  I know my dad surely had his reasons for planting a garden and those were surely fulfilled.

We did this for a couple of years, then we didn’t do it anymore and the St. Augustine grass took over the ground we had worked so hard to expose the seasons before.  You would think I would never want to do this again, EVER.  But I have kept a vegetable garden in my own yard for over 15 years.  My vegetable garden is quite different from that first one, because it is mine, and because my garden intentions are probably very different than my father’s.  I didn’t make my kids help me, but I think they appreciated my garden and still do.  This is why my garden stays around.